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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Xexune's LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 8th, 2011
12:25 pm
This is where it restarts

Ok Princess, since you have made it clear that you are keeping up with what's going on with me; and you don't like some of what you have seen let's play. 1) This is only going to happen until it stops being fun. 2) Get your own LJ account, and stop using mine. 

There is one more heartbroken smile in the world and it is your fault. It happened during my last trip to get a late night chai flavored sugar water. What was supposed to be just a quick stop nearly became a lot more; because you have restarted my conscience. The clerk at the gas station was wearing a shirt with a torn seam. The tear (and not the fact that it looked like she tore it trying to put a 34F body in a 36B shirt) just sort of cried out to my awareness. You know that fixing things is my calling. If there's time and tools available you know that you can expect me to fix just about anything. Before it really dawned on me what was happening we were standing outside and she was gushing over how impressed she was with my ability to sew.  At the same time she was lamenting that so many mothers, like hers, do not pass that skill to their daughters anymore. We were just standing there when it sunk in that since her shirt was in my hand it wasn't on her body. She must have seen the realization dawn on me; because she gave me that smile that people reserve for the slow witted but adorable. Everything about her body language told me that she had already seduced herself. It was especially clear in the way that she was looking at the buttons on my shirt like they would pop free if she could just concentrate hard enough. It took a significant bit of self-discipline to not just let it happen. It touched a soft spot in me the way she was imploring me with her eyes to not let her waste another night with another boy who has no idea how a woman longs to be touched. She's never going to forgive me for not closing the deal.



Current Mood: dirty
Monday, March 28th, 2011
5:32 pm
Monday, November 17th, 2008
11:18 pm
Infatuation is still love
There have only been a few people in my life who don't want to discourage me from loving and being loved by one person


Current Mood: loved
Saturday, October 25th, 2008
8:22 pm
It seems that people don' t know how to be in love anymore. The problem is that people no longer understand that long term satisfaction is more rewarding than instantaneous gratification. So much of what we encounter tells us that we want it now, that too many of us believe that they don't want anything that they can't have right now. That sort of thinking leads to bad relationships; because the victims of this mindset use trickery and deceit to meet people. It is all too common for people to tell themselves that it's ok to tell another what they want to hear in order to get them interested. Then couples wonder why they end up not loving this person who is absolutely not the person they liked so much at first. It is because they were never that person. This "new" person is who your lover always was they were just too afraid of being rejected, for who they truly were. To be honest the real source for most breakups like this is the blow to the pride that comes for realizing that you've let yourself be fooled for so long into believing a lie of your own making.
One of the reasons that people look for love in "all the wrong places" is because there are a million guides to looking for love: TV, Movies, Novels and every other commercial ever made. All day every day society inundates itself with and endless stream of suggestions that say we must devote all that we are to the search for love at any cost. The thrill of the search is deeply ingrained as the end all be all. Being caught up in the search has blinded many to the glory of the prize. Some are so intensely blinded by the wanton abandon of looking for love that they actually fear being in love. It is a different sort of thrill. Though it is a larger and better joy by far to have a devoted love than it is to seek it. Just as it is better to eat an apple that it is to want one. Wanting and partaking are distinguished the in the mind by a clear line. You can always want anything. If you ever partake of a thing though; there is immediately less of it and eventually it will run out. That simply is untrue of love. Love is unique in that indulging in it increases it. Love in fact requires that we savor it to maintain it. If you only sample it a relationship will wither and die like a plant in a pot that is too small. It is by relishing in all that love has to give that we cultivate it to flourish.


Current Mood: polyamorous
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
3:59 pm
My conscience
There is a part of me that is bothered by how my first thought after learning that Clay Aiken announced that he likes to "play for the home team" was about how much fun Kathy Griffin was going to have with that. Having the thought is not what bothered me. The remorseless amusement inspired by the thought didn't bother me either. The level on which it does not gall me in the slightest to giggle my tight little bottom off at his expense makes me wonder at my own cruelty though.
If you read this and were appalled by the thorough lack of proper punctuation; my only advice to you is to eat a bowl. This is revealing my innermost thoughts and you want good grammar. You Are lucky that you got spaces

Current Mood: ashamedly
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
6:17 pm
Gonzo Rocks
Why would anyone want to be Kermit, when you could be Gonzo. If you look at who they really are, with your heart instead of your ambition; you might change our mind.

It seems to me that the reasons people want to choose Kermit are: A) Gonzo doesn't fit into their idea of content. B) They don't see that Kermit doesn't actually like being Kermit.and C) They do not understand that Gonzo has just as much power and influence as Kermit.
A) Gonzo is always doing or saying something weird. Think about that though, contented people rarely ever do amazing things and even then it's not on purpose. Carl Sontheimer did not invent the Cuisinart because he was contented with slicing his veggies by hand did he? How many really fun things have you not done or tried because you didn't think you could get away with it either physically or socially. It is said that you only regret the things that you don't do. Regrets are an inhibitor to happiness and Gonzo pushes his limits and has no regrets; because he knows that for him, like most of us, knowledge of self is essential to happiness. Kermit though is limited in his actions: He has the burden of knowing that others draw their virtues from the example that he sets. Kermit must for the good of the community be content to keep his actions socially acceptable; because to do otherwise could lead to societal collapse. Who would honestly choose to be content if they could be happy, without hurting anyone?
B) Kermit* is way too uptight and stressed to have any real fun on his own. That is why he and Ms. Piggy are so deeply bonded. He knows that and it makes him sad.** Although Ms Piggy aggravates him, Kermit needs her; because as much as he hates to admit it everything about his life that doesn't involve her sucks, by comparison. She needs him just as badly; because she has a control over him that she can't get over herself. The dynamics of their bond is why they often fight. Each of them is an individual who doesn't want to be who they are, trying to survive being an a relationship with the most perfect mate for the person that they don't want to be. Gonzo on the other hand loves being Gonzo. He absolutely does not care (most of the time) what people think of him. Gonzo likes having friends, but he does not let himself be defined by the company that he keeps or their opinions and vices. You almost never see him fight with his girlfriend and when you do see either of them upset it is the because of a small enough thing that you have to laugh that such a thing would bother anyone. Mostly because the average couple would never consider such things worth even talking about. You also know without a doubt that when they look at their disagreement or conflict that they will see it for how trivial it is when compared with their relationship that they will laugh too. That is why Gonzo has been with the same girlfriend longer than Gene Simmons.
C) Sure Kermit Runs the show, but who would really want to be in charge of that many socially maladjusted individuals. From the times of yore when the world was ruled by superstition and the sword the leaders of the world have always sought to curtail the strong, the smart and the artistic. One reason is that these three groups tend to be the most difficult to control of the masses and a large percentage of the Muppet Show characters fall into at least two of those classes. Faced with this it is clear that Kermit is a tough frog with a tough job. It is not taking anything away from Kermit to say that Gonzo is just as well thought of though. We simply highlight that Gonzo is outstanding. After all how many times could you get blown out of a cannon, cause massive property damage and convince everybody to let you try it again?
For the record, it has occurred to me that the Muppets are fictional characters. As characters though they are given personalities by the writers who create and shape them in a story that continues to grow more diverse and intricate with the passage of time. My analysis is based on what the writers conveyed through their plot lines and subtext, and not the belief that they are anything more than what they are.
Yes, that was a bit random, but fun to write.
*this info is based on the Muppet Show post relationship version of Kermit not the Sesame Street musical
sensation/ freelance reporter and correspondent
**There was a very scholarly use of the word dysphoria here, but it seemed a bit late to be going that route.



Current Mood: recumbent
Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
12:07 am
Evolution

You may not have thought about this, but there is a quiet epidemic that affects a large portion of the female population. Women are becoming genetically less capable of being and staying happy. In fact few people realize that one of the most basic reasons is that humans on the whole are breeding toward this trend. It is my theory that long ago the sexual dichotomy shifted and men started looking for women who submitted to them rather than complimented them. Forgive the leap in logic here, but long story short this gave an overt breeding advantage to women who could endure a life with lower levels of serotonin and quite possibly endorphins.
Though the research is limited and largely unlinked; evidence suggest that the ability to produce and sustain higher levels of serotonin in women is slowly being lost. One of the sad tragedies of the loosing the Powers institute is the loss of their data concerning the links between things like the long term use of "period relievers" and osteoporosis. My own studies, at the now defunct Powers Institute, showed me that the aforementioned breeding trend has actually begun to have an unfortunate effect on the species. My concern is that people have hit a sort of divergence point where men and women no longer breed as harmonically, but like Eclectus, parrots people are developing a broader set of secondary sex characteristics.
Aside from the whole brain chemistry thing there also notable physical traits that are also beginning to show too. For example the tendency of many women to crane the neck forward which provides a stooped look and gives the appearance of diminished stature both leads too and exacerbates things like early onset osteoporosis. Even though battling such forms of convergent evolution is helping us all live longer lives. The quality of our life is slowly being eroded by what people are becoming. As women become less capable of being happy; men who can tolerate their companionship will tend to breed more. How long can a species dominated by such personality types maintain itself?


Current Mood: worried
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
10:30 pm
Life in Miami

 

Every place has some things that just make me love being there. One of the things that keeps Miami in my heart is the abundance of wild life. Some might say that living in the middle of a few acres of undeveloped wilderness gives me a biased view, but those people have never really seen this place. (If you are or have lived in Miami and don't know agree then you too have never seen this place) There are so many wild things here that refuse to be displaced. From the wide range of birds that roost in neighborhood trees, houses, offices and hotels, to the raccoons and opossums that meet me on the way accrross my yard; there is always something moving about as my day carries me around the city. Once there was even a treefrog in my shower, and for some reason there are several wild peacocks scattered about. This morning though was one of those cool times when the wildlife just catches me off guard and brandishes its beauty at me.
On my way home from a frantic morning of delegating enough tasks to go home by 9am, one those runoff  water tidepools that empties into a canal caught my attention. The whole canal system worries me. The canals seem to go from crystal clear to insanely blue to silty brown and can gloss over with an oily film for reasons that my research has yet to explore. This one had two very clear strata of water. The depths (.5M) were a hazy blue, but on top it was as clear as kindergarten math. In the top layer were several fish lying on their sides. At first they looked dead, but a closer inspection proved them to be just feeding. That was a great releif to me. It washed over me and brought a tremendous sense of wonder; because the small pool was sort of like a natural aquarium. It was rich in life and kept my spirits bouyed for the rest of the day



Current Mood: Alive
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
12:00 pm
Brilliantly out of touch with reality

 

Yesterday on my way to the theater a billboard glanced accrrooss the threshold of my awareness. It had a picture of a watch with a luggage tag. As is often the case the ad is much more fascinating than the product. It wasn't visually exciting enough to actually read, but it intrigued me enough to wonder what the idea was being expressed by the image. (You should probably stop reading now) The One of the joys of having a brain the size of a planet is that reality usually makes sense. Consisting of a watch and luggage tag the image was most likely was about time and travel. So obviously the billboard's ad concept had to either be a.)"Send a watch to somebody" or b.)"A watch just came to town" To me it seemed logical that if the watch were to be sent away the time would be different from local time; because it would be set to what ever its future destination. If however, it were coming to town then it would be set to our time zone. A quick look confirmed that the picture of the watch displayed the same time that my cellphone did and that the ad was indeed for incoming watches. Working out that particular puzzle left me so pleased with my self that it didn't even bother me to actually read the sign. Of course, it just clarified the flawlessness of my logic.

p.s. It was quite some time later that it dawned on me that it was a picture of watch.



Current Mood: nerdy
Friday, November 16th, 2007
2:52 pm
Two girls 1 cup
The video "Two Girls One Cup" happened into my possession and my reaction to it pretty much cemented my status as a sociopath on several levels. It would have if part of me hadn't been so pleased that they found eachother. It is the sort of thing that can never be unseen.

Current Mood: complacent
Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
8:04 pm
It has to be said
Dennis Miller, is really very funny, but that's just my opinion.

Current Mood: quixotic
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
11:32 pm
Violence is bad

 


 

 My latest fight which oddly enough was over my laptop, has left me with enough pain that it makes me worry. An over zealous attack and a bad landing have left my hip hurting bad enough to seek medication. Unfortunately it's nearly midnight and the drug stores are closed, so my only recourse was to buy a drink at the cafe and hope that it knocked me out until morning. It was kind of like trying to swallow a bowl of finely ground glass. What's even worse is that it feels like it won't work for another few hours. How much does that suck?



Current Mood: ouch
Sunday, September 16th, 2007
6:46 am
Drugs are bad

 

 There are entirely too many people who use drugs in this world. My evidence to support this is that Dominoes now has an Oreo pizza. That is not a nod to the pot smoking community. It's pretty much overt coercion to grab a joint. Having access to a pizza with Oreo cookies on a menu is to me the sociological equivalent of handing people directions to an old growth field and telling them that no one ever checks. Upon learning of this abomination my first thought was of the poor individual who just gave up smoking the day before learning about this tragic new innovation. How is she ever going to stick to her new convictions. It's rude, It's inconsiderate, and It's just plain wrong.

My other reason is that two guys tried to rob me last night. They saw me using my laptop and pulled a gun on me. Two people and only one gun. How much of a looser do you have to be that you need a second person to rob somebody when you already have a gun. Needles to say they got nothing but bruised egos for their trouble.



Current Mood: disappointed
Friday, September 14th, 2007
8:16 pm
The decline of Western Civilization
It is official. The fast food industry has finally gone and ruined the last sacred food like substance provider for me. Jack in the Box now has misleading advertisements and is charging more for less. To paraphrase Chris of "Cute with Chris" fame. All of my fast food dreams are shattered. This is one of those times when being helpful to admit listening to The Cure.

Current Mood: gloomy
Friday, July 28th, 2006
4:30 pm
Too much time has passed since my last road trip today begins my seven day get away.
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
11:28 pm
wants and desires
There is a dark little corner of me that misses ME, and the desire to be ME and go back to writing poetry gets stronger everyday. It makes me feel like that little Dutch kid, or it might if the details of how that whole thing ended were clearer to me.

Current Mood: indescribable
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
11:40 pm
Coming soon
There are few things that are as important as keeping close to those you love. That's my reason for always spending so much time with my self. That and the fact that the world is full of people who would really might have benefited from frequent beatings. For example some jerk recently tried to convince a group of people that chivalry was a highly abused word. He felicitously expostulated (there are several other ways to say that, but this best suits my ire) that chivalry is a code of conduct that concerns the behavior of men fighting in a duel. He went on to say that it should never be used in the context of male/female relationships and that the excuse that everyone else uses it that is no reason for going along with it. This was easily not my conversation and in these situations it is my preference to let it go. Something inside me wouldn't let me allow him to just fill people’s minds with his crap though.
He was deeply resistant to the simple statement that A) word meanings are predicated on the whims of those who use them. B) a society -those people to live in- is a group that has chosen to agree about such things as language. Means that if everyone else is doing it then it actually is not wrong anymore. and C) chivalry in this sense is a very old reference to those guys who rode around on horses and were revered for treating people well even when they didn't have to. Yes, that sentence ended with a preposition, but rules are for people who don't know how to behave
Anyway there was much unrest to follow. When hemmed and hawed about the fundamental natures of language, perception, the general need to for some people to always be the alpha leader until it came out that he was just repeating what he had read on Gaia. At this point two things occurred to me that ended the conversation. My legs are attached and they work.

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
10:53 am
strife as usual
Despite my best efforts to convince them that the whole practice has long gone out of style; my present employers do not accept that slavery is no longer permitted. My immediate supervisor even goes so far as to suggest that somehow everyone will magically leave town every time the occasion calls for me to leave for any reason. He tries to prevent me from talking to my co-workers or getting access to any of the technical manuals.
Like most people he doesn't seem to want to believe that my job isn't at some super secret institute. The whole thing is maddening especially when you know that our funding for the next 12 month cycle will be based on what happens over the next two and a half weeks. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother me, but being stuck here till at least October maybe even December makes it very much my problem too. Hopefully it will get better soon. In the very least it should get easier to keep you updated, during the next month or two

Current Mood: drained
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
9:36 am
the persuit of things sold and unsold
Ok so let's say that it has been a month since my last update. My tendency to live outside time means that it could just as easily have been a couple of weeks or even a year, but we can discuss that later. This may turn out a little wordy, but right now "big" words are easier to use.

It needs to be said that the local scientific community could use an enema. A few days after my last letter there was a conference here on Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), which brought scientists from as far away as Germany, India and France. Yeah, there is a joke in there.

It seemed like it would be a marvelous learning experience, but it just reminded me that most people are too mired in their own little frames of reference to really challenge the limits of what we know to be real. Some days it makes me feel like Galileo or Newton. Those are the good days, when it's cute that everyone seems to be looking at the things that they need to try seeing. Occasionally, it even gives me this Platonic desire to enlighten the world. Most of the time though it makes me feel like Charlie from Flowers for Algernon and that is when the need to scream, "The secret is: you bang the rocks together!" Those days remind me of why my decision to become a scientist filled me with apprehension and trepidation. May you never have to spend a day explaining to a series of learned individuals that the laws of quantum physics -in this case wave mechanics- are universal.

Since then, some friends took me to Madagascar. You would think that it would have been rife with exotic life forms, but it was something of a let down there. Ok, there were some breathtaking views and it was amusing, but it wasn't up to the standard of what one thinks of when you imagine Madagascar. The guys at Dream Works have really let me down in the whole diversity challenge area. They just didn't really seem to be trying this time. Well, that sparked a need for a serious movie going experience, so we all decided to do the Sith movie together too make up for it.

Someone found out about (or quite possibly arranged) a way advance showing in St. Tropez, France. It was one of those sketchy things that no one ever believes is going to workout well. After all breaking street date is not the sort of thing that George takes lightly or well, so the choice of costume was a big part of going. Since one might not want to be seen; it had to be comfortable enough to wear all night or run in if there was any trouble.

The preparations were so time consuming that an ultra rare chance to catch a screening of "Porgy And Bess" escaped me. You don't even want to know how long that movie has eluded me. It is a conversation that leads to much digression. Well anyway, the showing, of the Sith movie, appeared to be in this old abandoned building in the middle of a nonexistent place. When we got there the absolute lack of light and geeks outside made most of us wonder if there had been a mix-up with the date. The herbivores were real cagey about what was going on, but the sane people let it slide; because the herbivores tend to come through on these things. Besides these things usually turn out to be fun any way.

We descended a stairwell that was made me think of some of the scariest parts of horror movies. Everyone else seemed to be cool with just walking into the bowels of the Earth, but my imagination was riding me like the prize horse at the Kentucky Derby. Recollections of the club scenes in An American Werewolf in Paris, Forever Knight, and the Blade movies set my nerves on edge, until the sound of Figrin D'An And The Modal Nodes drifted up from the darkness. After that not even the last set of doors, which honestly looked like they inspired Dante to write, fazed me. On the other side it looked like a comic book convention. There were characters from all ten movies, the cartoons and most of the books. People were selling, trading and buying all kinds of things. The real world never had a chance of getting into this entirely make-believe world. Obviously, every third person had a light saber and one in every ten light sabers was a lance. The thing is some of them were really good. No, not just really good, but really very good. They were like Klingon (yes, wrong story so sue me) good. One of them even managed to use that spinning twirl that is an obligatory part of any light saber battle to rather effectively defeat a remarkably talented lance bearer. In general a good time was had by all.

After the show my plan was to breeze through Paris and say hello to one of the few people that inspires me to review my distaste for French people. Several of my companions pointed out though that you could almost see my father's house from St. Tropez and that he would suffer and complain in some sort of manner that is reserved solely for intellectuals and poets (or if you have them parents, who happen to be both). Paris had to wait, this is probably the first time that statement has been made by me with a sense of longing. After that it was back to the US specifically the Midwest (Chicago, Minneapolis and some undisclosed place in Wisconsin: Don't ask it's a really long story) to clear up some banking issues and try to deliver a long overdue birthday present.

The banking thing took several unscheduled turns and the undisclosed location in Wisconsin made... shall we say unexpected demands on my schedule. Just so you don't get the wrong idea, the Wisconsin thing was all about getting a music box that has escaped my grasp for entirely too long.

At any rate the whole thing fell through so it's back to the drawing board for this year's birthday present to me. You would think that someone who asks everyone for a single crayon would be easier to shop for. Then again at least eight years passed before someone loved me enough to find it for me. Although to be fair to all the people that were asked it takes a lot of dedication and self-sacrifice to find a large white crayon. Which is why finally getting it from the one person who loves me most made me giddy enough to kiss myself for all my perseverance. Sorry for that bit of digression.

To make a long story less long: The music box... not really but not really not. It's complicated. Bank stuff ... yes. Birthday present not even close. As the smoke cleared though one really cool thing fell into place. This book that has been hiding from me for more than eleven years popped up in of all places, New York. With less than two days to make it to work and several states between me and the time clock, the bell tolled for me. From Minneapolis to Miami with a stop on Midtown these are the sorts of stories that don't happen to sane people.

The way was fraught ("You just can't argue with a word like fraught," -Tigger from "Pooh's Heffalump Movie") with obstacles, from the very beginning. The cross-town city bus to the Greyhound station, in Minneapolis, decided that right then was the perfect time to start being on time. It's driver seemed to think that best way to do this was by rolling right past me despite my frantically jumping up and down at the stop. This cut my boarding window down to thirty minutes instead of the recommended hour that Greyhound suggests. It was an inadvisable but livable situation. Then the bus station locker, in New York, demanded exactly one more dollar than was in my pocket.This meant running to the ATM (six grueling blocks uphill against the wind). My window fell to just a few minutes.

Stopping to get change never occurred to me so naturally every human in the world was waiting in line at the station. The cafe was closed and the ticket sellers were giving me that, "a lack of planning on your part does not make this an emergency for me," attitude. Thereafter followed a rather unethical use of the Jedi mind trick. In the end, when the bus,to New York & Miami, left it had one very relieved me on it.

The trip itself went pretty smooth; if you don't count the pair of Southern Baptists, who accused me of being "The Morning Star" incarnate. The person sitting next to me was pleasant company. As luck would have it, the bookstore was just a few blocks for the bus station, in New York. Plus my book and a few others that weren't on my reading list yet were all easy to find. The bus to Miami was kind enough to be waiting for me after my return to the New York station. And neither of my buses was frigidly cold.

Everything went swimmingly until we crossed the border to Florida. Then we lost a couple of hours somehow. (Alien abduction has not been ruled out.) Then traffic took its toll, so we ended up being several hours late. The city bus ride home took forever and two hours. Then at home my work clothes were playing hide-and-seek. This left me with just enough time to run to the store, grab lunch and get to work on time. Of course, the bus driver chose that day to be an annoyance. Imagine me running and eating while trying to scream for the bus to stop. To add insult to injury he looked directly into my eyes smiled and continued to drive away.

You should be advised that when my sense of determination collides with anything else about me, up to and including my tendency toward self-preservation. Determination always wins. If you are at all fond of thinking of me as a sane rational person you may want to skip over, this next part.

Feel free to read on, but you were warned. We'll make this part a different colour so that you know when it's over. The bus had to go around the complex before leaving. There is a little used stop there just after it gets back onto the main road. It would be seven blocks for him to drive and four for me to run. Being the guy who once ran 3km in less than ten minutes as a youngster means that there was no way this bus was going to leave without me. Heedless of fatigue, pedestrians or traffic the race was on. In the end, he came up a block short when the wind dropped me at the stop. Then for the second time in two days we find me frantically trying to flag down a bus.

Just so you know a bus weighs about fifteen metric tons. He was less than a block away, and hadn't begun breaking or even signaled yet. It was fairly obvious to me that he had no intention of stopping. Truly this was a terrible display of poor sportsmanship. Determination always wins. Since the lane was clear it seemed fair enough to signal the depth of my intent by stepping into the street. He countered this move by switching lanes.

For most my entire first year in the US my friend, Princess, taught me how to jump on and off moving freight trains. Again determination always wins. It was a simple matter of timing and will to jump up and grab the passing mirror as the great mass of moving metal whizzed by me. This is when he finally admitted defeat, and pulled over. He had lots of unpleasant things to say about my impertinence and lack of higher brain functions, but they were easily rebuffed by my glibly mentioning,
"Cute people rarely have time to miss buses."

Well, that particular bus ride was rife with uncomfortable stares, but they were all from people who don't know or care about me, so to Heck with them one and all. Things did end well though because it was a really fun day at work since everyone was glad to see me back.

Current Mood: determined
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
4:43 pm
the spiral continues
Ok here goes. Admittedly it has been a long time since my last update. It's all my fault. This whole life thing has gotten way out of hand lately. Our correspondences are important to me, but life doesn't to seem to like the idea of me being an epistolary (letterwritting) sort. My first ever hand written letter to a friend was stolen before the glue could dry, and with the advent of computers things have only gone down hill from there. Some where in the ether my brainchildren drift lost in the void where ideas end up when they go unshared. Ok enough rambling. Here goes.

These are the events of my life since October. Some events have been omitted for the sake of brevity. This is where the slide started. The world went to crap around the beginning of October, when a security guard at work grabbed me from behind and broke his wrist and two of his fingers. There was some speculation that his injuries were a direct result of my actions. This seems a bit ludicrous; since my only action was purely reflexive. If grabbed for behind who would not grab his attackers hand. Then duck and turn into and under the grip thus pinning the arm to the back. It was completely not my fault that we fell on this same arm. That cost me two weeks, a cool job, and a set of fingerprints. He didn't even have the decency to show up to court. All over a work ID that he said didn't look right to him.

Well the desire to spend money gets pretty big when you find yourself completely without a visible means of support. So my career as an antiques speculator came to the fore. It led to a lot of overspending and personal gain. Then in November someone offered me a grant to do a breathairian study. Soon after that someone else probably a personal rival of the first client offered me a grant to follow-up of my own research, from college, on breathairians. These both looked really promising, but the first fell through because it was just a rouse. The offer was genuine enough, but it was simply to lure me into signing a contract to go looking for the one place on the planet that holds no interest for me. Then the other one went all to pieces because we couldn't find enough people willing to spend eight months in Hawaii. How much does that such?

Around Thanksgiving (US) my life and desires carried me, to Puerto Rico, Jamaica, and Miami. That roller coaster ride has included a handful of jobs, performance of four field surgeries more that a half dozen life or death situations two of which involved a bee. (not the same bee in both cases) And a thorough lack of interpersonal correspondences with my friends.

And then there was 2005. This has been has been mostly in Miami and primarily two jobs. The most impressive of them being as a safety carpenter. That's right they let me build skyscrapers. Which is cool because my occasional part-time job is running the wires for data and telecommunications. This gave rise to three new pairs of shoes and finding then loosing the amazing shirts. That'll to be one of the omitted parts. A part of me still misses the shirts, especially after what happened to those cargo pants in February. Most of the rest of this year is kind of a haze of getting up going to work then going to work and not getting enough sleep.

Current Mood: busy
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